Lies lies lies it is all lies

It is lies what i think just before I take the first bite.

It is lies what i hear in my brain at the middle of the meal.

It is lies what i say to myself when im on my knees.

But not in front of jesus but the toilet sit.

Lies lies lies it is all lies

It is lies what i say to myself when im fingering down my throat.

It is lies what i hear when you compliment me.

It is lies when i repeat I don’t want to live anymore.

Lies lies lies it is all lies

It is lies when all i want to do is slice my wrists.

It is lies when i see other people’s bodies and wish they were me.

It is lies when I obsess over new ways to shrink.

Lies lies lies all i say to myself are lies.

It is lies when I start to think about the goodbyes.

It is lies when all I can wear is oversized.

It is lies when I choose to ignore the signs.

Lies lies lies all i say to myself are lies.

Because what I fear the most is losing control.

All I want to do is to be able to love myself, and feel whole.